I cringe every time I read an article about confidence. The majority of the time, these articles offer strategies that will help you build confidence which will help you succeed in life. Such strategies run the gamut from positive affirmations, role playing in a mirror, associating with other confident people, adopting confident body language, creating victory lists, and on and on. Just type in confidence in Google and the first 20 hits you’ll see will be articles on how to boost confidence.
What I learned from my five-year study of the wealthy, particularly the self-made millionaires, is that confidence comes and goes even for the rich and successful. It’s like the high tides and the low tides rolling in and out of the ocean. One day you’re riding high with confidence and the next day your filled with nothing but doubts. It doesn’t matter if you have $100 in the bank or $100 million. Confidence is never a permanent thing.
You gain confidence when your actions and decisions succeed in moving you closer to realizing your dreams and your goals. You lose confidence when your actions and decisions keep you stuck or force you backwards, further away from your dreams and goals.
On any given day, Elon Musk is brimming with confidence when one of his SpaceX rockets reaches space or wallowing in misery and self doubt when one blows up.
Confidence is not a driver for success. Rather, it is the byproduct of it. You gain confidence when you succeed and you lose confidence when you fail.
If you lack confidence, welcome to the club. Confidence is not something you can will into existence by staring at a mirror and repeating positive affirmations. Confidence does not create success. Success creates confidence.