In my five-year study of the daily habits of the rich and poor (Rich Habits Study – Background on Methodology) I discovered that there are two extreme types of relationships: Helpful Relationships and Toxic Relationships. Helpful Relationships help lift you up in life, are always happy, optimistic, grateful, enthusiastic, open-minded, life-long learner-types who help elevate your chances for success. Toxic Relationships drag you down in life, sabotaging any chance for success you might have. Toxic Relationships have certain unique characteristics that you should be on the look out for and avoid at all costs.
Toxic Relationships Characteristics
- Negative Types – They always seem depressed, down, pessimistic, angry, unhappy and ungrateful. They hate those who are doing well in life. They hate anyone trying to better their lives. They always have a negative opinion. To them, the world is a mean, unfair, painful experience. They drown their misery in drugs or alcohol. They have very powerful biases. They see life as unfair and embrace an ideology that requires the punishment, by society, of the wealthy and successful.
- Deceptive types – They are perpetual liars. They cannot be trusted. They seek, by whatever means necessary, to take what is not theirs. They are adept at spinning the truth. They are experts in rationalizing their bad behavior. Nothing is ever their fault. They are never to blame. They see others as marks, targets, not people.
- Critical Types – They are very critical of others. They seem to always have an opinion that is critical of something. They condemn and blame society, the government, their parents, the schools, their boss, their spouse etc. Everything is a problem. Nothing is ever straight forward or simple to them. They complain about everything in their lives and every person in their life. They are never satisfied or grateful.
- Backstabber Types – These are people you cannot trust. They are not only looking out for their own interest, they have a maniacal habit of hurting their relationships either intentionally or unintentionally. They have very low self esteem, confidence and do not like anyone who is trying to better their life. They love to gossip about others. They have no long term relationships and move from one new relationship to the next, causing havoc wherever they go. The danger with backstabbers is that you never see it coming. They wear a mask when they are in your presence that belies their true selves. You only find out who they really are when the damage is done.
- Financial Train Wreck Types – They are always deep in debt, borrowing money from their friends and family and never repaying that debt. They are perpetually unemployed, in between jobs, jumping from one career to the next. There is always one emergency after another and they have a nasty habit of calling upon you at the last minute to bail them out. As a result, they consume a great deal of your time and money.
- Lazy Types- These types are always looking for the home run, quick fix, the easy money. They do not want to put in the time and effort to achieve success. They believe success is about random good luck. They approach others with business opportunities that can’t miss. They do not invest time in their relationships, in their careers or in their businesses. They gamble. They get others to invest their money in their latest schemes. They take irrational risk, rather than calculated risk.
- Entitlement Types – They have an entitlement mindset. They believe those who are doing better in life have an obligation to help those who are struggling financially in life. They see the wealthy as beneficiaries of mere good luck. Conversely, they see themselves as the victims of mere bad luck. They do not take individual responsibility for their lives. They do not blame themselves for their financial circumstances. They feel they just got a raw deal in life.
- Addicted Types – They are addicted to drugs, alcohol, gambling, sex, risk, you name it. They have no control over their behavior. They have no willpower. They always let you down. Their lives are a mess. Their relationships are a mess. Their finances are a mess. They are leeches who will suck the life out of you.
These toxic relationship types will drain you of your passion, enthusiasm and momentum. They will cause you to shift your focus and take you off track in life. Toxic Relationships are never of any value to you. If you want to be successful you have to surround yourself with other success-minded types (Helpful Relationship types). Take a hard look at the people you associate with most every week. If they have any of these characteristics, they are very likely one of the main reasons you are struggling financially in life. They are holding you back from rising above your current financial circumstances. If you want to improve your life, you must limit the amount of time you spend with your Toxic Relationships to no more than one hour a week. and then make a concerted effort to associate with success-minded, optimistic types. The route to finding these Helpful Relationship types is to pursue some big dream or life purpose. Successful people are attracted to people who are passionately pursuing a life dream. Over time, more and more Helpful Relationships will drop into your life and the old Toxic Relationships will slowly fade away.