The Blame Game Anchors You in Failure


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Life has a way of going wrong. Our natural inclination is to blame someone or some thing when life doesn’t go our way. We blame our parents, our spouse, Wall Street, the rich, politicians, the economy, our boss, our company or our circumstances. This knee jerk reaction helps protect your fragile ego by taking individual responsibility for your actions out of the equation. Blame is anchored in negativity and negativity is the default mode for most everyone.

If you were to spend just one day listening to the words that come out of the mouths of others, or listen to your own internal self-talk, you would fill an entire page with blame-ridden excuses. Try it. Spend one day writing down every excuse you hear from others or from your own internal self-talk. It’s worth the exercise. It will open up your eyes. 

Even for the most successful people, things rarely go right. But what separates the successful from the rest of the world is that they refuse to play the blame game. They make a habit of owning their failures and mistakes. It’s not easy to do this, however. Refusing to play the blame game is a habit that must be forged over time. Changing this habit first requires awareness. You must turn your channel and tune yourself in to this negative way of responding to life’s lack of cooperation. Once you do this you will become aware at just how pervasive blame is. Don’t play the blame game. It will only anchor you in poverty and perpetuate your negative mindset. Instead, replace every excuse with the phrase: “I am responsible”. This stops blame in its tracks and empowers you to take future action that will prevent future negative outcomes and will help put you on the path towards success.

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Thomas C. Corley About Thomas C. Corley

Tom Corley understands the difference between being rich and poor: at age nine, his family went from being multi-millionaires to broke in just one night, due to a catastrophic fire that destroyed his Dad's thriving business. For fourteen years they struggled with poverty. There were eleven in Tom's family, and they lived in constant fear of losing their home.

Driven by the desire to unlock the secrets to success and failure, Tom spent five years studying the daily activities of 233 rich people and 128 poor people. He discovered there was an immense difference between the habits of the rich and the poor. During his research he identified over 300 daily activities that separated the “haves” from the “have nots.” Tom decided to write a book to share what he learned. That book, Rich Habits: The Daily Success Habits of Wealthy Individuals (1st Edition), went on to become an Amazon Bestseller in the United States forty times over a three year period. To give you some perspective, in order to be a true Amazon Bestseller in the United States, where you actually receive a specific Bestseller designation from Amazon, you need to be in the top 100 of all books sold by Amazon in the United States in a given day. Rich Habits did that for nearly thirty straight days, rising as high as #7, eclipsing such Bestselling authors such as Stephen Covey, Robert Kiyosaki and J.K. Rowlings. Imagine that - an unknown, first-time, self-published author selling more books than J.K. Rowlings!

Tom now travels the world, sharing his Rich Habits and motivating audiences at industry conferences, corporate events, universities, multi-level marketing group events, and global sales organizations’ presentations and finance conferences. He has even spoken on the same stage with famous entrepreneurs and personal development experts, such as Sir Richard Branson, Robin Sharma, Dr. Daniel Amen, and many others.

Tom has shared his insights on various national and international network, cable, and Internet television programs such as CBS Evening News, NBC News, Yahoo Financially Fit,, India TV, Australia, and a host of others. He has been interviewed on many prestigious nationally syndicated radio shows, including the Dave Ramsey Show, Marketplace Money, and WABC.

Tom has been featured in numerous print magazines—such as Money magazine, Inc. Magazine, SUCCESS Magazine, Entrepreneur magazine, Fast Company magazine, More magazine, Epoca Magazine (Brazil’s largest weekly) and Kiplinger’s Personal Finance magazine—and various online publications, including USA Today, CNN, MSN Money,,, and the Huffington Post. Tom is a frequent contributor to Business Insider,, and a few other media outlets.

National publicity has garnered international media attention for Tom and his Rich Habits research spanning 23 countries. Broadcast media, online publications, and television throughout Asia, the South Pacific, Europe, the United Kingdom, and Central and South America have shared his powerful message.

In an effort to help parents, grandparents, teachers and adults become success mentors to the younger generation, Tom released his second book, Rich Kids: How to Raise Our Children to be Happy and Successful in Life in 2014. This book was the self-help category winner of the 2015 New York Book Festival and Runner-up in the prestigious 2015 Writer’s Digest Self-Published Book Awards Contest. In 2016 Tom released his third book, Change Your Habits, Change Your Life. This book provides the latest science on habit change as well as more of Tom's unique research on the specific habits that helped transform 177 ordinary individuals into self-made millionaires.

Besides being an author, Tom is also a CPA, CFP, and hold a master’s degree in taxation. As president of Cerefice and Company, CPAs, Tom heads one of the premier financial firms in New Jersey.
Phone Number: 732-382-3800 Ext. 103.
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  1. Vanessa S. Lewis says:

    Hi Thomas, I think shifting accountability also prevents us from growing and learning the lessons from failure. Even from your own personal story, (I first heard on an interview on Success magazine audio CD), failure teaches us the “how” to get back up, benefits of being resilient and everything else that self-made millionaires –or just highly actualized people–know.
    Thanks as always for your daily wisdom in our inboxes! Thought I’d finally take a moment to comment. Vanessa

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