Unhappy Habits


Tom Corley boats - crop

Did you know that your habits can create happiness or unhappiness? Groundbreaking research done by Dr. Sonja Lyubomirsky of the University of California’s Riverside Campus, has shined a light on the formula behind happiness. In her research, Dr. Lyubomirsky discovered that 40% of happiness is driven by your habits. So, what habits lead to unhappiness?

  1. Avoiding Novelty – Pursuing new things inspires and excites us. When we avoid novelty, this eventually leads to unhappiness.
  2. Loneliness – The more interaction you have with others on a daily basis leads to happiness. When you avoid contact with others, do not socialize regularly and isolate yourself from society, you become unhappy.
  3. Blamethrower – Accepting responsibility for your life empowers you. We are happiest when we feel like we are in control of our lives. Blaming others for the things that go wrong in your life disempowers you. It takes away your feeling of being in control of your life, which leads to unhappiness.
  4. Lack of Control – Feeling in control of your life leads to happiness. Those who seek to control the behaviors of others become unhappy when those behaviors deviate from their expectations. You can only control your behavior. Seeking to control the behaviors of others leads to unhappiness.
  5. Negative Criticism – Criticizing others is a bad habit that creates a spiral of negativity which leads to unhappiness.
  6. Complaining – Complaining about how bad things are leads to a negative mindset and eventually an unhappy life. It reaffirms your negative thinking and beliefs and pushes people away from you, leading to a lonely existence.
  7. Buying Stuff – Buying things leads to disappointment. Those things will only give you temporary happiness. Eventually the novelty of the new thing will wear off and you will be poorer for owning it.
  8. Envy – Grateful people are happy people. Unhappy people envy others.
  9. Associating With Toxic People – If you want to be happy, hang out with happy people. Hanging out with people who drag you down leads to unhappiness.
  10. Feeling Stuck – Happy people pursue dreams and the goals behind those dreams. Unhappy people don’t pursue dreams and avoid setting goals. As a result they never grow as individuals. They feel stuck in life. Feeling stuck in life leads to unhappiness.
  11. Avoiding Risk – Happy people are not afraid of taking risks in life. Unhappy people avoid risk at all costs.
  12. Living in the Past and the Future – Happy people focus on the here and now. Unhappy people are constantly thinking about the past and worried about the uncertainty of the future. The past, good or bad, is over. Thinking about what could have been, alternate choices you should have made and past mistakes drags you down into the abyss of negativity. Likewise, worrying about the future forces you to set expectations about the future. When the future arrives and those expectations are not met this leads to unhappiness.
  13. High Expectations – I saved this one for last as I believe it leads to the greatest unhappiness. When you set high expectations for yourself, you are setting yourself up for disappointment. Life has too many variables. There are too many things that can happen that will affect any outcome you have set in your mind. Some of those things meet your expectations, some exceed your expectations and some fail to meet your expectations. Setting low expectations is the key. When you set low expectations, you set yourself up to meet or exceed them. When you meet or exceed your expectations, this leads to happiness. Setting low expectations does not mean that you do not believe in yourself. It just means that you understand that sometimes reality may be very different than you expected.
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Thomas C. Corley About Thomas C. Corley

Tom Corley understands the difference between being rich and poor: at age nine, his family went from being multi-millionaires to broke in just one night, due to a catastrophic fire that destroyed his Dad's thriving business. For fourteen years they struggled with poverty. There were eleven in Tom's family, and they lived in constant fear of losing their home.

Driven by the desire to unlock the secrets to success and failure, Tom spent five years studying the daily activities of 233 rich people and 128 poor people. He discovered there was an immense difference between the habits of the rich and the poor. During his research he identified over 300 daily activities that separated the “haves” from the “have nots.” Tom decided to write a book to share what he learned. That book, Rich Habits: The Daily Success Habits of Wealthy Individuals (1st Edition), went on to become an Amazon Bestseller in the United States forty times over a three year period. To give you some perspective, in order to be a true Amazon Bestseller in the United States, where you actually receive a specific Bestseller designation from Amazon, you need to be in the top 100 of all books sold by Amazon in the United States in a given day. Rich Habits did that for nearly thirty straight days, rising as high as #7, eclipsing such Bestselling authors such as Stephen Covey, Robert Kiyosaki and J.K. Rowlings. Imagine that - an unknown, first-time, self-published author selling more books than J.K. Rowlings!

Tom now travels the world, sharing his Rich Habits and motivating audiences at industry conferences, corporate events, universities, multi-level marketing group events, and global sales organizations’ presentations and finance conferences. He has even spoken on the same stage with famous entrepreneurs and personal development experts, such as Sir Richard Branson, Robin Sharma, Dr. Daniel Amen, and many others.

Tom has shared his insights on various national and international network, cable, and Internet television programs such as CBS Evening News, NBC News, Yahoo Financially Fit, Money.com, India TV, News.com Australia, and a host of others. He has been interviewed on many prestigious nationally syndicated radio shows, including the Dave Ramsey Show, Marketplace Money, and WABC.

Tom has been featured in numerous print magazines—such as Money magazine, Inc. Magazine, SUCCESS Magazine, Entrepreneur magazine, Fast Company magazine, More magazine, Epoca Magazine (Brazil’s largest weekly) and Kiplinger’s Personal Finance magazine—and various online publications, including USA Today, CNN, MSN Money, SUCCESS.com, Inc.com, and the Huffington Post. Tom is a frequent contributor to Business Insider, Credit.com, Bankrate.com and a few other media outlets.

National publicity has garnered international media attention for Tom and his Rich Habits research spanning 23 countries. Broadcast media, online publications, and television throughout Asia, the South Pacific, Europe, the United Kingdom, and Central and South America have shared his powerful message.

In an effort to help parents, grandparents, teachers and adults become success mentors to the younger generation, Tom released his second book, Rich Kids: How to Raise Our Children to be Happy and Successful in Life in 2014. This book was the self-help category winner of the 2015 New York Book Festival and Runner-up in the prestigious 2015 Writer’s Digest Self-Published Book Awards Contest. In 2016 Tom released his third book, Change Your Habits, Change Your Life. This book provides the latest science on habit change as well as more of Tom's unique research on the specific habits that helped transform 177 ordinary individuals into self-made millionaires.

Besides being an author, Tom is also a CPA, CFP, and hold a master’s degree in taxation. As president of Cerefice and Company, CPAs, Tom heads one of the premier financial firms in New Jersey.
Phone Number: 732-382-3800 Ext. 103.
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  1. Eric Graf says:

    Very nice article Tom!

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